Ashes in the Wind
by nightrobin2424
Summary: After a tragedy Grissom finds out a truth that changes the way he sees things. Nick/Greg slash implied GSR. Warning: Character death.


_AN: This story came to me very quickly, and it was very hard to write but like some things it was meant to be written down. While it is not a song fic at all, there will be lyrics listed after the story. It is the song that very much inspired this. This is post Grave Danger, and yes does have character death. But please don't let that stop you! And as always I hope you enjoy! Also there is a teeny bit GSR, blink and you'll miss it._

* * *

Greg Sanders had become a recluse since that day two months ago. No one seemed to understand, they were all grieving they didn't understand why Greg seemed to be disappearing within himself. They never knew, but now when his bed was cold and empty it was harder not to expose the truth. The truth that Nick Stokes was his everything and now he had nothing left to live for except broken dreams.

* * *

Gil Grissom sighed as he ran a hand over his tired face. He had been putting it off for two months now, not wanting to know what Nick was thinking in those last few hours, but now he sat alone in his office holding the small black tape recorder in his hands. He knew it was finally time.

"_My name is Nicholas Stokes and if anyone finds this please return it to the LVPD crime lab so they may have a bit of closure. Mamma, Cisco I'm sorry I disappointed you, but know I only did my best to make you proud. Grissom please don't blame yourself for what happened, you're the best damn boss anyone can have, just know that I've always looked up to you." _Grissom pressed pause choking back a sob, he almost wanted to put it away, bury it down deep but he knew he had to keep listening if only to hear Nick's voice one last time.

"_Catherine please don't let this break you, be the strong woman I know you are. Sara…let your guard down once and awhile don't be afraid to fly…Warrick God Warrick you're the best friend anyone could ever ask for and you know go for it with Cath man…you both need each other so much." _Grissom expected it end after that but he heard Nick's choked voice saying one last name.

"_Greg…Greg baby please know that I love you with everything that I am and when this all ends whatever the outcome know I always will. Tell them Greg, tell them all about us, tell them how we began and how just before all this happened we promised forever only to each other. Tell them how great our love was…still is just don't hold back Greg. I know now we never had anything to be ashamed of, nothing at all. Tell the world I only lived for you Greg Sanders and know wherever this leads me I will be waiting until the day we meet again. But most of all Greg please move on and know my love will always be with you…please just don't ever forget that Greg…" _It ended in a sob from Nick as Grissom shut off the recorder placing it on his desk. Now he saw it all, why Greg had slowly been spiraling downward, all this time they thought Greg had only lost a coworker and friend like them. Now Grissom knew he had lost so much more, he had lost his soul mate. Grissom knew there was only one thing to do with this newfound information. He had to see Greg, to let him know that he would be there for him even if was two months too late.

* * *

Greg wondered who would be visiting so late, he was pretty sure he had alienated everyone at work.

"Grissom? I'm pretty sure I was off tonight."

"You are Greg."

"What's going on?"

"There is something you should hear." Grissom said reaching into his pocket to pull out the recorder. Greg took it from his hands, his heart dropping to his knees. "Go on Greg please…"

_"Greg….Greg baby…" _Grissom watched Greg's expression change as he listened, his knuckles grew white a he gripped the recorder tighter. _"Please just don't ever forget Greg…" _Grissom could see Greg's hands shaking, the recorder falling to the floor as Greg collapsed to his knees sobbing.

"You weren't supposed to leave me Nicky…"

"It's ok to let go Greg." Grissom whispered as he crouched down letting Greg cry on his shoulder. Grissom wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, but time seemed to stop as Greg let out everything he had been feeling for the past two months.

"Tell me Greg I'd like to know about you and Nick." Greg looked up at him, his eyes red but a small smile was forming on his face.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

"It happened just after the explosion I thought he never once came to visit me in the hospital, but he told me he had been there."

"He was Greg almost every day."

"I know that now, he confessed it to me one night after he changed my bandages. He said it scared him so much the thought of losing me and never telling me the truth…" Greg paused taking time to wipe at his eyes. "He told me I was the only one he'd been thinking about for a long time and he knew he needed to say something before it was too late."

"And what did you tell him Greg?"

"I told him…" Greg choked back a sob staring at a picture of them on the wall. "I told him that he always had my heart."

"Greg you don't have to go on if it is too hard."

"No….Grissom it's a good story and Nick wanted me to tell it."

"Then I will listen as long as you need me to."

Three hours later Grissom pulled front door shut, finally letting himself cry. Now he saw it all everything that Nick and Greg were, their love for each other was pure and true and it gave Grissom hope. Hope for a pure love like that, a love that would never really die. He found himself at a familiar door holding a breath as he knocked.

"Grissom?"

"Hi Sara."

"What are you doing here?"

"I've got some things I need to get off my chest, do you have some time?"

"Yes." Sara said with a brilliant smile. "Yes I do."

* * *

That night Greg sat down at Nick's desk and wrote down all the words he wished he could say, all the things Nick ever made him feel until the paper was full and wet with tears. He took the paper and folded it as he walked out to the back patio Nick loved so much. He closed his eyes as a soft wind blew across his face. He could see everything so clear; see Nick smiling at him the one that made his eyes shine so bright. He could see them wrapped up in a blanket counting stars on a cool night not so long ago. He held the paper in his hands as the wind started to pick up more. Slowly with trembling hands he started rip up the paper letting the pieces be carried away by the wind. Greg smiled through his tears watching the pieces ride the wind away from him knowing somehow somewhere Nick would know because the pieces would find him at his address in the stars.

* * *

Address in the Stars by Caitlin and Will

_verse 1: i stumbled across your picture today i could barely breathe the moment stopped me cold and grabbed me like a thief i dialed your number but you wouldnt be there i knew the whole time but its still not fair i just wanted to hear your voice i just needed to hear your voice_

chorus: what do i do with all i need to say so much i wanna tell you everyday though it breaks my heart i cry these tears in the dark i write these letters to you but they get lost in the blue cause theres no address in the stars

verse 2: now im drivin through the pitch black dark im screaming at the sky oh cause it hurts so bad everybody tells me oh ill i need is time then the mornin rolls in and it hits me again light aint nothin but a lie

chorus: what do i do with all i need to say so much i wanna tell you everyday though it breaks my heart i cry these tears in the dark i write these letters to you but they get lost in the blue cause theres no address in the stars

verse 3: without you here with me i dont know what to do id give anything just to talk to you though it breaks my heart oh it breaks my heart all i can do is write these letters to you but theres no address in the stars


End file.
